Somehow, I always knew this would happen…

Church against Channel Massive

2 Comments to Somehow, I always knew this would happen…

  1. Julien's Gravatar Julien
    February 10, 2009 at 1:21 am | Permalink

    I suggest Channel Massive boycotts Episcopalians. If you are Episcopalian you can longer access the site or listen to/download the podcast until that sign is removed!
    Or we could do a Scientology and invent a Channel Massive religion… the selection process would be rigorous and painful:
    - All entrants must play through a twelve hour raid completely drunk as a DPS class with too much aggro.
    -Those who wish to earn favor with the god Jason, must provide ample whore-lore and console “PvP’. The P’s don’t stand for what you think.
    - Followers of Mark MUST talk in extremely whiny voices when trying to interject in argument and then let their voices slowly fade when they realize no one is listening.
    - Followers of the Noah doctrine must be able to down 25 Del Taco meals without having to use a bathroom for the next 24 hours.
    - The whiner and fanboi spirits will be purged from your body through a series of tasks which involve sleeping in the same bed as the furry SexyGurl88 and drinking from Jason’s piss bucket after he plays Rock Band for over 6 hours straight.
    - Once accepted into the religion, all members must focus entirely on brainwashing and converting others to our cause. With enough manpower, Mark may finally be able to reach his goal of killing Jason. And world domination.

    (DISCLAIMER: This entire thing is a PARODY. I am not insulting anyone’s religion or beliefs, I am merely making fun of them. Would it make a difference to me if you were a Scientologist? Probably not. If you tried to convert me and my thetans with an 8 hour long bath in tomato juice? Probably… This is probably why I stay away from forums… I go into idiotic rants like this one… hope you enjoyed it.)
    -Love, Julien

  2. February 10, 2009 at 11:07 am | Permalink

    ROFL! Classic Julien.

    One correction though. Whorelore isn’t required to earn my my favor. You’re thinking of the false god…Jim.

    All I require is a daily sacrifice of beer and White Lions at my altar. ;)

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